Chatting Up Girls: Attraction

This post has been updated at 03/12/2011.

Understanding how attraction works is a key factor of successful dating. Most guys don't get how attraction works! They are trying to be sensitive, caring and nice. Girl is being bored to death at this point. She wants a men, not a pussy!

If you're surprised, think twice. Didn't you ever hear that "you're a nice guy, but ..." Hmmm? The "but" part means she doesn't want this kind of so called "nice" guy, who is totally predictable and boring.

I got recently into this situation from the other side, a girl is chasing me. However good might it sounds, I honestly don't like it. Here's why:

Attractive Attitude

It's all about attitude. Your attitude must reflect that you are aware of your value. It should say something like "I'm independent, confident, funny and attractive." Being cocky helps. However this is what your body says. NOT your words. Remember, your attitude is telling "I'm confident" and if you are confident, you certainly don't look for her approval! By talking in depth about your business, career and so on, you'll bore her to death.

I'm really passionate about this topic! I want to help people who don't have this handled yet. Therefore until the end of 2011 I'm giving free consultations over e-mail, Skype or face to face for Londoners! Just drop me an e-mail saying "Hey dude, help me with girls please!" and I'll get back to you ASAP!

Let Her Doubt

Don't tell her how great time did you have with her. If she says she had a great time with you, simply say "Thanks". If she asks how did you like it, tell her it was quite nice.

By telling her how you like her etc, you are giving her all the power. By doing so, her interest is likely to drop, because she already know "Oh, I can have this bloke if I want". It might or might not be a deep drop, you never know, so just don't do it.

Minus Points

This is a dead simple trick: if you don't like something, roll your eyes and tell something like "Oh my, you really like Shakira? Jeez ... you have a minus point for that already!" Don't overuse it though, she has to take the points rather seriously ;)

Make Fun of Her

For some reason this is very powerful. Instead of being sweet and telling her some romantic bullshit, make fun of her. The only thing you have to be careful is avoiding sensitive topics: it's better not to joke about her parents, you can make fun of her look ("Oh my God, what happened to your hair, you look like a pirate!"), but not about something she doesn't like on her body (typically big arse or small tits). And go very easy on dirty jokes, girls don't like them as much as guys do!

Don't Be Her Pet

You aren't her pet and she's not your girlfriend (yet?), you don't have to be here for her. She expects you to call? Don't call ... if she likes you, she'll be thinking "Why he didn't call?" and "What did I do wrong?" and she'll want you more.

Don't Be Needy!

Being needy is what totally kills the attraction! Don't try to arrange a meetup in your first message to her. And really don't send another message if she doesn't reply back for a few minutes (as did the girl from the conversation below when I didn't reply in 15 minutes or so).

Don't Get Attached to Her (Too Soon)

Let her feel that she's just one of the choices. It doesn't have to mean that you have some other choice at the moment, but it means you don't desperately want to get her. And again, you must say it by your attitude, not by words.

On the other hand I wouldn't recommend talking about your one night stands. It might work if she's a slapper, but rather don't do that. Even if she is a slapper, it's not certain that it will work for her.

Being Sensitive

Most of the guys get this wrong. Yes, guy should be sensitive, but he must not be a pussy. It's good to show sensitivity, but first you have to show her you're a real man, then maybe later some sensitivity.

But ... how the hell this could even work?

To be honest matey, I have no bloody clue whatsoever! It just does. So off you go and try it, I can promise you won't regret!

I'd like to thank my friend @josefrichter of FeelAplications.com for blurring the images for me.

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